Tiffany Haddish Just Made Herself a Target for Every Purse-Snatcher in America

by Charles Manning

You gotta love Tiffany Haddish. The woman is authentic AF. And in a world where most celebrities are so media trained that interviews with them usually read more like press releases than actual conversations, she and her willingness to speak her truth are a welcome breath of fresh air. Also, the woman is freaking hilarious! Take her latest interview with W magazine, for example. Haddish is W’s latest cover star and in the accompnying interview she talks at length about her love of knockoff handbags and, in the process, inadvertently makes herself the target of every purse-snatcher in America.

(W, Ethan James Green)

When I was shooting Girls Trip, I had a knockoff Michael Kors bag that said MLK instead of MK. Jada told me that I shouldn’t have knockoff stuff. I told her that my philosophy is, Whatever the bag costs, I should be able to keep that amount of cash in the bag. If it’s a $300 purse, I have to put $300 in cash in that purse. I do not want a bag that is more expensive than the cash I have to put in it.

Wait. WTF? So, Tiffany Haddish is walking around with the cash equivalent of the value of her purse in every bag she owns? And broadcasting that information to the world? Who does that? At least her bags aren’t that expensive.

(W, Ethan James Green)

Haddish continues:

Things are going good for me now, so I am graduating to your Fendis and your Guccis. But I better have the cash equivalent, or I’m not buying the purse.

Hold up, Haddish. Even a relatively “basic” Gucci purse still costs between $2000 and $3000 and Fendi bags are just as expensive, if not moreso. You’re saying you walk around with an equivalent amount of cash stuffed into each of your designer bags? Are you trying to get mugged? This feels like the equivalent of hiding your life saving in your mattress and then moving your bed into the front yard.

Sylvie Leather Shoulder Bag, GUCCI (Available at Matches Fashion), $2,590; Kan I Floral Print Leather SHoulder Bag, FENDI (Available at Matches Fashion), $3,400

(W, Ethan James Green)

Of course, Haddish has her reasons for doing what she does:

When you’re somebody like me, who’s been homeless, clothes are not that important. Clothes are not a roof over my head, food in my stomach, my family’s health—that’s what money is for. But fashion helps get more money. So, we ride.

Fair points, but still, carrying large amounts of cash with you in an attractive and equally expensive (and all-too-easy-to-snatch) purse isn’t exactly the wisest money management strategy. Then again, who would be batshit crazy enough to mug Tiffany Haddish? You better believe she wouldn’t take that nonsense lying down. She’d probably chase the dude down and beat him to death with her Fendi logo purse strap. And god bless her for that.

(W, Ethan James Green)

Whatever, Tiffany. You do you. And please, please, please, make sure you keep telling us all about it.
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